Houlihan in Command
by Radio-Radio
Summary: When Colonel Potter goes to a five day medical conference, he needs to appoint a temporary CO. How will Major Margaret Houlihan handle the job?
1. Chapter 1

I don't own MASH or anything related to it.

At the 4077th, Colonel Potter's day had just taken a turn for the worst.

"Klinger," Potter shouted, "get my officers in here on the double."

Colonel Sherman Potter re-read the document Klinger had just given him. There, in solid print, was an order from ICOR for him to attend a 5 day meeting on the status of medical care in Korea. For every good thing that came from a meeting like this, he'd have to listen to long winded "expert" types who just seemed to enjoy the sound of their own voices.

He'd come back with some good information and a headache from all the "expert" suggestions.

And, he'd have to leave tomorrow afternoon.

Father Mulcahy was the first to arrive, "Is everything ok, Colonel?"

"Padre, I may need your help with this one," Potter replied.

"Colonel, I'll certainly help in any way I can," Mulcahy announced.

"Appreciate it," Potter responded.

Hawkeye and BJ came in next and stood next to Father Mulcahy by the Colonel's desk.

"Colonel, you look a bit frustrated," Hawkeye began, "What has Charles done this time?"

"Pierce, it's not Winchester. Let Margaret and him get here, and then I'll let all of you know SPECIFICALLY why I am frustrated," replied Potter.

Klinger walked into the room, "Sir, I've made all the travel arrangements. Your jeep will be ready at 2, tomorrow afternoon."

"Travel?" asked BJ.

"Business or Pleasure?" queried Hawkeye.

"Would I be in this mood if I was getting 5 days of R and R?" Potter asked.

"5 days of R and R, Colonel," Margaret said as she entered, "You've certainly earned it, sir!"

"I'm sure I have, Margaret, We all have. But there's no R or R for this trip," Potter stated.

Winchester sauntered into the room.

"Colonel," said Winchester, "Were you discussing railroads? I heard mention of R and R. I know someone at Great Pacific…."

"Winchester, why would I be discussing railroads?" Potter asked sarcastically, "I need to discuss a 5 day trip sponsored by that wonderful travel agency – ICOR. No rest or relaxation." Potter continued, "I Have a 5 day medical conference to attend starting tomorrow. For all the good information I might get, there are hours of long and boring conversation. If a so-called expert isn't putting me to sleep, it's some officer from another MASH, complaining about the same things over and over. If Charlie Grant at the 8063rd brings up that incubator of his one more time…."

"Colonel," Hawkeye interrupted, "How can we help?"

"I need a CO to take my place," Potter began, "Pierce, you got so military, I thought you might turn into Frank Burns. Winchester, you turned my company clerk into your manservant. Each of you are fine surgeons, but not CO material for this outfit."

"I second that," BJ replied.

"And I third it, Sir," Klinger added.

"BJ, that leaves you, then. Welcome to your first command!" said Potter.

"Colonel," BJ began, "I am not your highness, like Charles, or a wannabe dictator, like Hawkeye. But I'm not good at giving orders. I have no desire to command anything except a trip home to Mill Valley."

"Wannabe dictator," Hawkeye began, "Isn't that a little harsh?"

"Pierce," Winchester replied, "Can't take criticism from a friend?"

"Charles," Hawkeye answered, "I'm surprised you didn't put a moat up when you were CO."

"Stop this Nonsense!" Potter yelled, "BJ, you are going to be acting CO. You just have to make sure the patients are cared for, the lights stay on, and when I come home, I don't have to deal with any "surprises."

The officers quieted, briefly.

"Colonel Potter," began BJ, "I do have a suggestion that might be the best for the 4077th, overall."


	2. Chapter 2

"Please make it fast, Hunnicut," Potter began, "I have to start packing and get Klinger to train you."

"Colonel Potter," BJ started, "I think there's someone much more qualified to fill in for you. Margaret. She commands respect, gives orders and knows what's really going on. Margaret is also regular Army. I believe she'd be far better at this than a refugee from Mill Valley."

Margaret looked stunned.

"A nurse in command?" asked Winchester.

"A very qualified one at that," Potter replied, "But I don't know if we can do it."

"Margaret, you'd be great," Hawkeye exclaimed.

"Colonel, if the doctors were ill, and you were gone, who would be in command?" BJ asked.

"Hunnicut, I've never had to answer that one. But, if my "designated CO" was ill, that might be different," Potter smiled, "Let me get on the horn and find out. It's something new, but dammit, it makes sense. Margaret, are you up for this?"

"Command, sir?" she began, "I've been in charge of the nursing staff for some time. Maybe the 4077th just needs a woman's touch. Will the Army allow it?"

Klinger came into the room and spoke to Potter, "Sir, I've got General Rice on the line."

"Quick thinking, Max," started Potter, "I guess I'm about to find out."

Potter explained the situation to General Rice, "Yes sir, I do have two other doctors. But they've both botched the CO job before. Margaret Houlihan is an excellent, experienced officer, and I believe the 4077th would be in good hands with her as temporary CO." He quickly turned to his officers and covered the phone, "He knows about Margaret's record. He's thinking about it."

Everyone in the room, other than Potter, stared at the receiver in the Colonel's hand.

"Yes, General," Potter continued, "The doctors would get more work done if Major Houlihan had the responsibility. Frankly, I think she'd get more work done, too."

Potter looked to see his key staff staring at the phone – as if they could make it do something.

"General, "Potter nodded, "If Major Houlihan has any issues she can't handle, and I doubt they would come up, she can ask for help from my Chief Surgeon."

Margaret blushed. She wasn't used to getting complimented so thoroughly, particularly in front of her colleagues.

Potter smiled, now, "Thank you General Rice. I'll be leaving the 4077th in good hands. See you at the conference." He looked at his staff, and had some joy in his voice, "Margaret, you will be our temporary CO. Any medical or supply issues come up that you need help with, please check in with Hawkeye."

"I'm at your service, Major," said Hawkeye, genially.

"As am I," BJ added.

"Winchester?" asked Potter.

"Well, I respect Margaret. But I do not believe a surgeon should be taking orders from a nurse," Charles huffed.

"Put a sock in it Winchester," Potter responded, "You'll treat Margaret with the same respect you would treat me with."

"And," BJ added, "If you don't, Charles, we'll glue EVERYTHING you own shut."

"Hard to move chess pieces around…." Hawkeye smiled.

"Very well," Winchester was deflated, "Margaret, I am at your command." He then turned to Hawkeye and BJ, "You two jackals keep your hands off my chess set."

"Glad we could work all this out so smoothly," Potter replied.


	3. Chapter 3

Colonel Potter's jeep left camp that next day.

Charles doublechecked his chess set several times for wayward glue, but found none.

Margaret sat in the Colonel's chair. She felt a bit awkward, and excited. Klinger had brought in a pile of forms that needed review and signature.

"Klinger," she asked, "How much of this has to be done by the end of the day?"

The Company Clerk poked his head into the CO's office, "Major, why don't I sort that out for you? Start with what needs to be done today, and then what needs to be taken care of tomorrow?"

"That would be very helpful," Margaret responded.

"Oh temporary commander, I am here to help," Klinger smiled and began sorting all of the paperwork into two piles.

Zale came into the office.

"Major, I hope you don't mind, but I need your direction - Colonel Potter being gone and all," he drawled.

"Sergeant, what do you need?" Margaret looked up from her desk.

"See, Major, today's the day when I would check all the fluids for the motor pool. Then, I'd wash all the vehicles – make 'em sparkle," Zale commented.

"What's the issue Sergeant?" she asked.

"Well, Major, it's starting to rain. Kind of makes it hard to check the fluids, and near impossible to wash the vehicles. So, I was thinking I could inventory the motor pool supplies instead of doing that tomorrow," Zale said.

Margaret looked out the window. A light drizzle was falling.

"So, you want to play poker this afternoon instead of working on our motor pool?" she asked.

Zale wondered how she knew about that. It took maybe 3 hours to inventory supplies for the motor pool – so he got some help from friends and got a nice poker game going at the same time. After all, everyone was "working." Also a good time for a nap.

"Ma'am," Zale hesitated, "We do need the inventory done. How else will I know what we'll need for the motor pool?"

Margaret turned to Klinger, who was still sorting forms, "Corporal, let me see the duty roster."

Klinger got up, went to his desk, and brought it back.

"Seems like we need some help cleaning up in Post Op," she began, "Zale, Since you can't clean vehicles, you can work on cleaning floors in Post Op. Report to Nurse Baker – she'll show you what needs to be done."

"Major?" asked Zale, "I haven't had no training in medicine. What if I make a mistake and send all those terrible germs around? Probably not the best thing for the wounded."

Klinger motioned to Margaret and whispered, "Major, I don't know if this makes a difference, but Zale took me for $30 last week. When I got done here, I was going to try and get in on the action."

Klinger loved a good poker game.

"Sergeant Zale, you may do inventory for the motor pool. But, after dinner, I want you in Post Op. You can clean floors, tables, beds, walls or windows…but you WILL clean something, today," Margaret said.

"Yes, Major," Zale knew he'd been beaten. No sense arguing with officers – especially the CO – even if she was just filling in for Colonel Potter. At least he could get that poker game going and see how much he could take Klinger for.

And Zale left.

"How did you know he had a poker game going in there?" Klinger asked.

"Klinger," Margaret smiled, "Ever wonder why Zale takes so long to get things done? I did, and found out he would get this poker game going whenever he could. He's taken "inventory" so often, he probably has it memorized. But, I've got no problem with that since we don't need Zale's assistance right away."

Klinger replied, "He does get things done when he needs to," putting up a small defense of his poker buddy.

"Corporal, I agree. But today, he's going to get things done because I need him to," Margaret explained.

"You're the boss, Major," Klinger replied.


	4. Chapter 4

"I thought I knew what I was getting into," Margaret stirred her Spaghetti, "but even the Army has more paperwork than I thought possible."

"Well, you do have Klinger to help you sort it out," BJ noted.

"And, Corporal Klinger has been a tremendous help. But, I still have to read and sign everything. And, there'll be the same thing, if not more, tomorrow." Margaret added.

Hawkeye sat back down with a new meal on this tray.

"Margaret, you'll get it all taken care of. When I was temporary CO, I couldn't believe how much paperwork was involved. Thought we could just drop it on the North Koreans instead of bombing them, and they'd be very willing to discuss peace," Hawkeye laughed, "Unless, of course, they have more paperwork than we do."

"Captain, I appreciate your confidence," Margaret smiled.

Klinger walked into the tent and found his CO.

"Major, a Colonel Meyers is on the line. Sounds pretty steamed, too. Seems like some of his men are still in post OP and he wants them back. Wants to speak to the CO."

Margaret arose, "Gentleman, I need to take this," took her tray, deposited and left the mess tent, with Klinger following closely.

"Colonel Meyers?" asked Father Mulcahy, "Why does his name seem familiar?"

"Simple, Father," Hawkeye replied, frowningly, "Colonel Meyers believe on getting the jump on the enemy, even if he own men can barely walk. BJ has one of his men in post op, his leg broken, and Colonel Meyers doesn't care about that."

"Hawk," BJ added, "He does care. The more quickly his men return to action, the better it looks for him. Doesn't matter if they shouldn't be returning to action at all. You met him…"

"When I told him that as Chief Surgeon I wasn't going to release men for combat unless they were well enough to go," Hawkeye grew angrier, "He went straight to Colonel Potter. Wanted to report me. Potter told him to leave the medicine to the doctors. Said that we don't keep patients longer than necessary, but when we do keep them, it IS necessary."

"He didn't like that," BJ noted.

"Nope," Hawkeye continued, "But Potter is a doctor, first and foremost. He told Meyers to let us do our jobs."

"Good for the Colonel," Father Mulcahy smiled.

"Meyers said he'd report it to ICOR," BJ added, "But he never did."

"Mainly because there have been other reports to ICOR – from other medical personnel – that Colonel Meyers may be taking unnecessary risks with his men," Hawkeye stated.

"Colonel Meyers is a likely a step or two away from being removed from command and sent home," BJ began.

"Hopefully sooner than later," added Hawkeye.


	5. Chapter 5

Margaret sat at her desk as Klinger put the call through.

"Potter?" asked Meyers.

"Colonel Potter is at a staff meeting. I'm Major Houlihan, Temporary CO. How can I help you?" Margaret replied.

"This is COLONEL Meyers," Meyers' volume increase, "Major, I have 3 men who are in R and R at your unit. I want them back, ASAP."

"Colonel," Margaret responded evenly, "The doctors decide who is well enough to return to a unit. We're a MASH, not an R&R facility."

"Doesn't seem that way to me, Major," Meyers said, sarcastically.

"Colonel, the only person who would overrule our doctors is our CO, Colonel Potter, who is not available. Since I'm not a doctor, I've left decisions to our Chief Surgeon, Captain Pierce," Margaret replied, a little anger creeping into her voice.

"MAJOR," Meyers yelled, "Since you aren't capable of making a command decision, I AM. I want my men released and back in their unit, today."

Margaret shook her head. She'd seen these types of officers before.

"Colonel," she said slowly, "You'll have to take that up with Captain Pierce. He has my full support on medical matters."

Margaret could hear Meyers yelling to someone in the background.

"Major, I'm coming there today to get my men. Make sure they are ready," Colonel Meyers ended the call.

Margaret put the phone down, "Klinger, get BJ and Hawkeye in here, now."

She heard the doors open and close, and could hear Klinger running to the mess tent. She'd briefly met Colonel Meyers a couple of times. Decisive. Not unattractive. He seemed to command any room he was in. But, he wasn't medical personnel. An impatient man who was used to just giving orders. And she'd be damned if non-medical staff, no matter how they ranked, made decisions on treatment. It would be like the doctors planning an attack or strike on an enemy target.

A couple of minutes passed before BJ and Hawkeye were standing in front of her.

"Captains," she began, "I just spoke with Colonel Meyers. He's coming here today to get his men."

"Hmm," Hawkeye started, "Considering that the earliest I could release any of his 3 would be two more days…"

"Seems like a wasted trip," BJ continued.

"Tell me about the 3 men he still has here," Margaret evenly asked.

"Margaret, one, only one, with a leg would, could be out of here in a couple of days," said BJ.

"Private Scott, one of the others, has been thoroughly stitched up, but fighting an infection. He may go home," Hawkeye explained, "And Corporal Manzetti, who has been here twice before, has a stomach wound. In a week, he may be ready."

"So, Doctors, it's in your medical opinion that none of the three men from Colonel Meyers' unit could be released, today," Margaret replied.

"That's correct," BJ responded and Hawkeye nodded.

"Thank you, Captains," Margaret steadily replied.

"Guess we're dismissed, Beej," said Hawkeye.

"This Colonel Meyers is a real piece of work," BJ replied as they walked toward the Swamp.

"Being injured means just that. Some of these "gung ho" types just don't get that," Hawkeye remarked.

"Well, Hawk," BJ said as he said on his bunk, "Meyers has his reputation to protect. Low casualties. Combat success. He wants to keep his report card clean."

"Even if it isn't," Hawkeye shook his head.

"It never is," BJ began, "plenty of officers understand that and actually care about their men. Meyers just wants to go home a hero, no matter who gets hurt."

"Maybe we should do something about that." Hawkeye started.

"What did you have in mind?" BJ queried.

"Let's think about that. Colonel Meyers is a real piece of work. His reputation means everything to him, while his wounded men mean nothing." Hawkeye started to grin, "I wonder how that would read in the papers back home."

"You thinking of another "unauthorized" article?" BJ leaned forward.

"Something like that," Hawkeye began, "something like that."


	6. Chapter 6

Winchester was taking vitals from a patient who'd been operated on the day before. Seemed to be stabilizing.

"How is Private Muller doing, Major?" she asked.

"Fine," Winchester replied, "I worked on him yesterday, and his recovery, of course, is exactly where it should be. "

"When do you think he'll be able to return to his unit," She asked.

"Are you asking as Head Nurse or Acting CO?" Charles remarked.

"Major Winchester, it was simply a question," Margaret responded testily.

"Very well, Major. Based on what I've seen today, I believe Private Muller will be able to return to his unit in 4 to 5 days," Charles responded and stood up.

"Thank you Major," she replied.

"No trouble at all," Charles began, "I'm happy to share my surgical triumphs with the medical staff OR the CO. Pierce and Hunnicut don't view their efforts as triumphant, but I can understand that. Small minds only see what's in front of them. They are competent surgeons, certainly, but they do pale before my brilliance."

Charles hadn't seen Hawkeye walk into post op, nor note that he was within hearing distance.

"Charles, you do look pale. Maybe it's your brilliance showing," Hawkeye grinned.

"Swine. You wouldn't know the meaning of the word, let alone how to spell it," Winchester frowned.

"Is it pale or pail?" Hawkeye began, "I always get those two confused."

"I don't doubt it at all, Pierce," said Charles as he left.

"He's as stiff as a pine tree and has the personality to match," Hawkeye spoke loudly, "Everything ok, here, Major?"

"Colonel Meyers will be here in two hours. I want to make certain everything is perfect," Margaret replied.

"We're putting on a show for that joker?" asked Hawkeye.

"Not a show, Captain. Meyers will be demanding release of his men. You and I will have to deal with that. I don't want Meyers to see anything he can complain about," Margaret replied.

"I think if you look in the dictionary under 'jerk," Hawkeye replied, "you'd probably just find a picture of Meyers."

"I think if you look under "jackass," you'd find him there, too, "Margaret smiled.

"Glad that you are in charge in Potter's absence, but I know it's no day at the beach," Hawkeye sympathized.

"No, it's not. But nothing I can't handle," Margaret replied.

They walked out of Post Op, heading for the CO's office. Some people were throwing a football around – but it was fairly quiet, otherwise.

"Margaret," Hawkeye began, "I have an idea about what to do with Colonel Meyers."

"Is this something sneaky or rotten?" Margaret asked.

"No. It's both sneaky and rotten," Hawkeye replied with a smile.

"Captain, please step into my temporary office," she replied, "I'd like to hear more."


	7. Chapter 7

Colonel Sherman Potter was intrigued regarding new medical procedures. However, he'd never liked these "staff" meetings. There were too many "detours" – Generals poking their heads in for a couple of minutes, medical staff complaints about supplies, trainers who would forget that they were training medical personnel instead of military, and just being away from the 4077th. He knew his staff could handle almost anything – he'd seen that.

Having Margaret in charge made him feel more confident that the 4077th would run as smoothly as if he were there. But, they were also family, and he felt more comfortable at the 4077th than any other military post or location in Korea.

So, he decided to check in "at home" and made a phone call.

"Klinger," he said.

"Oh my leader," Klinger began, "How may I be of service?"

"Max," said Potter, "How are things at the 4077th? Margaret available?"

"Colonel, Major Houlihan has us moving along just fine. She was a great choice, though no one could replace you…."

Potter was fond of Klinger, but his company clerk tended to get wordy, "Klinger. Let me please speak with Major Houlihan."

And then he was on the phone with Margaret.

"Colonel, how is the staff meeting?" she asked.

"A couple of good medical procedures I think we'll all benefit from, but mostly just a lot of time listening to other MASH officers complain," Potter replied, "How are things on the home front."

"We're doing fine, Colonel. We miss you, but we're getting our jobs done," Margaret replied.

"Good to hear," Potter said, and hearing Hawkeye's voice in the background, asked to speak with him.

"Colonel, my spaghetti moved on the plate last night!" Hawkeye said.

"Can't blame it son. I'm sure there are better neighborhoods," Potter smiled, "Everything OK in Post Op?"

Hawkeye thought for a second, then replied, "Fine Colonel. Remember Colonel Meyers?"

Potter's mood darkened, "What about Colonel Meyers?"

"He's coming today to take three men out of post op who are in no position to leave," Hawkeye began. Margaret seized the phone back, "But, we'll handle it, Colonel."

"That joker has about as much business in command as a horseshoe," began Potter, "He cannot override medical decisions on readiness."

"Colonel Potter," Margaret replied, "To be honest, I am not certain he knows or cares about that."

"Horse Hockey," Potter spat, "He's got no business in the OR or Post Op. If he wants to visit his men, that's fine. He's not taking anyone with him who hasn't been medically cleared."

"Colonel," Margaret began, "Hawkeye has an idea about what to do regarding Colonel Meyers. I'll put him on.

"Pierce? You there?" Potter queried.

"Colonel Potter, I am here," Hawkeye responded, "I think a little press from our free press might just stop Colonel Meyers.

"I'm listening," smiled Potter. Pierce was a schemer, but a damned good one.


	8. Chapter 8

Colonel Potter hung up the phone after he'd spoken to Hawkeye. Seemed like a simple, but effective way to stop Colonel Meyers. At least for now. So, it was time to get back to the meeting, Day2. When he entered the conference room, only General Rice remained.

"General," Potter asked, "Did I get my scheduling mixed up?"

"No, Sherm," the General began, "We just got word that the North Koreans are about to start an offensive. A MAJOR one at that. All MASH personnel need to return to their units as soon as possible."

"I guess I'd better get back," said Colonel Potter.

"Sherm, there's a jeep outside waiting to take you to the airfield. We'll see how to reschedule this. Be careful," General Rice added.

"I will, General," Potter responded and left the conference room. Time to go back to the 4077th.

Meanwhile, at the 4077th, Klinger had just gotten word from Sparky about the North Koreans. He was meeting with Margaret, now.

"Major, ICOR says we should be getting casualties in about 12 hours, or later, depending on the storm," Klinger said.

"Corporal, I can see the rain, now . This weather is going to get much worse, I take it," Margaret replied.

"Thunder, Lightning and Heavy Rain. That, and the North Korean attack that's starting," Klinger noted.

"Let's make certain we are as ready as we can be. Have Zale and Rizzo check out supply. Get Igor to confirm Mess Tent supplies – we may be feeding a lot more people if this gets really bad. I'll get the nurses to make certain we are as ready as we can be in OR and Post Op," Margaret spoke decisively.

"Anything else, your Majorness?" Klinger asked.

"Klinger, see if you can scavenge up some very large plastic bags. We may need them to help stop rain in Post OP or OR," added Margaret.

"Major, I am off to scavenge," Klinger enthused, and left he CO's office.

Colonel Meyers' driver had to slow down. The rain was getting much harder; Corporal Zunich was having a difficult time staying on the road.

"Zunich. Raining like hell, now, isn't it?" Meyers grunted.

"Yes, sir," replied Zunich. Meyers wanted short answers for simple questions. The man did not believe in what he'd called "idle, wasteful, chit-chat."

"Slow down, then," Meyers began, "I want to get to the 4077th in one piece so I can show those softies what war is about. Not babysitting some lollygagging soldiers; I won't stand for that."

Zunich nodded and slowed the jeep down. If it rained much harder, they'd have to find some sort of shelter for awhile. The road might get washed out.

The wind picked up and rain simply came down harder at angles.

"I can barely see anything ahead, and I've got my binoculars," Meyers said, "Looks like there's part of a hut on the right. Let's see if there's a roof, Corporal."

Zunich could barely see the outline of a building ahead. It was off the road, so he took the jeep in that direction.

"Zunich. Watch it, Damn It. We're trying to find a dry spot. Not a spot to wreck the jeep," yelled Meyers, "Keep heading to the right."

Within five minutes, Meyers and Zunich had made it inside what remained of a hut. Half a roof that seemed to be holding up against the storm. Meyers grabbed his Walkie/Talkie. Time to check in. But, all he got was static. No clear signal.

"Damn, Zunich," he yelled, "We're caught out here on our own. Can't raise anyone on the radio. How am I supposed to lead men I can't find?"

Zunich knew that his CO did NOT want an answer when he was that angry. Colonel Meyers was agitated and frustrated and stuck. "Great," thought Zunich, "and it was my turn to drive him."


	9. Chapter 9

They could see the heavy rain as they sat in the mess tent.

"Apparently, the storm has delayed Colonel Meyers. He was about an hour and a half out when they last heard from him," Margaret sipped her coffee.

"Too bad it won't stop the casualties," BJ added.

"Well, if they come here to the mess tent, we'll have casualties of some kind," Hawkeye responded, "At least my Macaroni and Cheese isn't moving."

"Not yet, anyway," BJ grinned.

"Captains," Margaret began, "I think we are prepared as we can be under the circumstances. But, I'd like to know if you have any other ideas."

"Margaret," Hawkeye began, "You seem to have us well prepared for the coming nightmare."

"Indeed," BJ noted.

"Look, I know we've had our disagreements," Margaret began, "But I couldn't imagine facing what's coming without the two of you, here."

"What about Charles?" asked Hawkeye.

"Major Winchester is an excellent surgeon. I just wish he would let his hair down once and awhile," Margaret signed.

"You have to find the hair, first," Hawkeye smiled.

"Hawkeye, you know what I mean," Margaret grinned.

"He does, Margaret," BJ shrugged.

"I do, indeed, Major," Hawkeye started, "Winchester, unlike our dear departed Frank Burns, has real surgical skill. Our Major Winchester has even acclimated to this place. Hates it even more than we do, if that's possible. However, he'd "old money" Boston. Wouldn't be surprised if he has original coins from Paul Revere. Certain things are "beneath" him because he was brought up to believe that. He has loosened up, some. But, he's always going to be "old money" Boston."

"Old money," said BJ, "Does an 1895 Silver Dollar Count? I've got one at home that my father gave me."

"Too new for Charles, Beej," Hawkeye replied, "Anything after the War of 1812 would be considered "new money."

"My father gave me an old silver dollar after every school year, and told me he was proud of me. I have a dozen reminders of him that I'll eventually pass down to Erin," BJ replied.

"That's sweet, BJ," Margaret replied.

"They ranged from the 1870s to the 1890s. Part of the fun was trying to guess what year he would give me. Never got it right," BJ mused.

"Charles probably got original letters from King George apologizing for that whole 'colonies" issue," Hawkeye laughed.

The rain was louder and pouring more than before. They could watch people running and tracking mud, trying not to fall. Trying to stay dry.

"How are we fixed for umbrellas?" Hawkeye asked.

"We have as many as always," Margaret replied.

Charles came by at that moment, soaked from the rain.

"It will take me a week to get the mud out of my boots," he said, "Were you saying we had umbrellas?"

"No, Charles, we have no umbrellas. That's always been true. Guess the Army doesn't plan for romantic walks in the rain," Hawkeye responded.

"I hear that we will be overflowing with wounded in a few hours, compliments of North Korea," Charles shook his head.

"Yes, Major," Margaret answered.

"Rain, Snow, Sleet or Hail, The War's destruction will not fail," Hawkeye added, grimly.


	10. Chapter 10

Margaret Houlihan was sitting at her temporary CO desk. Her head was in her hands. "Jeeps and Trucks, No Helicopters," Klinger had told her. The hard rain had grounded choppers – wounded would be transported, no matter how serious their condition, over soaked roads in jeeps and trucks. Wounded who needed to be seen quickly would have to survive the ride, and those who were in better shape would likely be worse by the time they got to a MASH. The rides would be extra slow, and extra bumpy. Plenty of stops and starts.

"We could send out doctors and nurses to meet them on the way," Klinger suggested.

"Klinger," Margaret said gently, "I appreciate your thinking. But, we can't send out our medical staff and risk them getting lost or trapped in bad weather. Or shot by the enemy. Everyone needs to be here and ready so we can provide all the care we can."

"Damn weather," Klinger started, "Sorry about that Major."

"I feel the same way, Corporal," Margaret replied, "I think the best thing we could do right now is stay dry and get some rest. Our people need to be at their best. It's going to be a very long day."

"Anything else, Ma'am?" Klinger asked.

"No thanks, Corporal," Margaret replied wearily, "I am going to my tent for awhile."

"I'll be right here if anyone needs me," Klinger said as he walked towards his work area.

Margaret then put on a coat and walked out into the rain towards her tent.

"Well," Klinger thought to himself, "I'll be here if needed. But no need to be awake until then. Nap time." And the company clerk laid in his bed.

Klinger was dreaming about Toledo, again. He was in the stands at a Mud Hens game, sitting with friends and family. It was sunny and warm and the beer tasted great. "We got this game," said his cousin, Abdul, "Walker's pitching." Sure enough, Joe Walker, Ace of the Mud Hens pitching staff, was coming to the mound to take the ball in the top of the 8th inning. As Walker began warming up, his pitches seeming to get faster with each throw. The crowd was stomping their feet. First batter was walking to the plate. It was Jeff Washington, who lead the league in…"

He was awakened by the phone, and it took him a second to get his bearings. As soon as he heard the pouring rain, he knew he wasn't at a Mud Hens game.

"4077th MASH," Klinger said quickly. He could almost hear a voice on the other end, but the static made it impossible to understand.

"We don't have a good connection," Klinger noted, "Please repeat."

"Klinger?" was all the company clerk could make out.

"Klinger, here," he responded. The line seemed to have less static, now.

"Klinger. It's Colonel Potter. I'm at Kimpo. Landed in this damn rain. Don't want someone coming in this weather to get me," he began.

"Sir, it's great to hear your voice," Klinger smiled, "I can get you."

"Negative. Repeat, Negative. Klinger, this weather makes any drive risky. There's an ambulance that has to go to the 4077th. I'll ride with them and do triage on the way," Potter explained.

"Sir, you know how many wounded on that bus?" Klinger asked.

"Maybe 10. Some really bad. A bridge caved in on them and they didn't all get out of the water," Potter replied.

"Sir, we don't know if the roads are even still there," Klinger was concerned.

"Son, these ambulance drivers are good at finding their way. We've got to get these wounded tended to, so we have no choice but to go to the 4077th," Potter responded wearily.

"Oh My Colonel," Klinger began, "Please be careful."

"Klinger, I'll be fine. Saw worse weather in WWI," Potter exclaimed, "Tell Major Houlihan to get the OR ready. I'm on the way, Max."

"Yes Sir," Klinger worried about the trip Potter was about to take. At that point, the call disconnected.


	11. Chapter 11

The 3 doctors in the Swamp tried passing time.

"I thought I saw some guy named Noah out there," BJ laughed.

"He didn't come get us. Must be Army policy," Hawkeye replied.

"No doubt a wise one," Winchester added.

"If this rain keeps coming down, we're not going to be near the Sea of Japan, we'll be the Sea of Japan," Hawkeye noted.

"Complain away, Pierce," Charles began, "It doesn't seem to impact the weather. Perhaps if you stood out in the rain, you'd get your point across more clearly."

"Charles," BJ spoke, "You don't like this weather any more than we do."

"True, Hunnicut," Charles faced BJ, "However, endless complaints do no more than make the situation worse."

"Ah. A lesson from Sir Charles," Hawkeye replied in a British accent, "The gentleman complains about this place at every turn. Therefore, he is an expert complainer. And you thought your Harvard education would be wasted here."

Charles now faced Hawkeye, dismissively, "Pierce, you do astound. You are so wrong about everything, I shan't be surprised if you don't win an award for it."

Klinger opened the Swamp door and came in. He had his leather hat on, a jacket, and he looked like he'd just come out of a washing machine.

"Klinger," Charles' voice raised, "You are turning our floor into a flood."

"Sorry, Major," Klinger was shaking.

"You sick, Klinger?" asked Hawkeye.

"No, Hawkeye," Klinger responded, "But with this rain, who knows? I bring news. I tried using the PA system, but the storm just drowns it out."

"What's going on, Max?" BJ asked.

"Colonel Potter called from Kimpo. Conference got cut short because of the North Korean attack. He's riding in an ambulance bringing wounded to the 4077th," Klinger exhaled.

"He's not wounded, is he?" asked Charles.

"No Major. He told me 10 guys got hurt when a bridge collapsed. Colonel Potter is doing triage on the ambulance," Klinger commented.

"Any word on the attack?" asked BJ.

"No, Sir," Klinger began, "No news at all from the radio, no bulletins. Whatever the North Koreans are doing, they are being quiet about it."

"Who wouldn't want a quiet war?" Hawkeye mused.

"Hawkeye, with this weather, a lot of communications are down. Probably true for the North Koreans as well," Klinger responded.

"So, we wait?" BJ asked.

"Captain, I don't have any more information. I just told that to Major Houlihan, and she was not happy about it, either," Klinger noted.

"Gentlemen, if you had any sense, you'd understand that there is nothing to be done right now," Charles was definitive.

"When do you think Colonel Potter will be here?" Hawkeye asked.

"Your guess is as good as mine. If the weather wasn't like this, I'd know how long it would take. I know those roads. We don't even know if those roads are passable, if they're there at all," Klinger shrugged.

"One thing we can do is make certain the OR is ready," BJ noted.

"Major Houlihan has seen to that, sirs," Klinger replied.

"I'm tired of feeling useless," said Hawkeye, "I'm going to check with Margaret and see if there's anything else she needs help with."

"I'll join the parade. I can only read Peg's latest letter a dozen times in one setting," BJ stood up.

"She's back in the CO's office," Klinger commented.

"Klinger, get out the yacht. I'll take the bridge. BJ, you take the stern, or any other part of the boat you like. We set sail for Major Houlihan in 2 minutes," Hawkeye grinned.

"So sails the ship of fools," Charles added.

"Guard," Hawkeye turned to Klinger, "Do not let that man board. He's got so much hot air, he'll blow us off course."


	12. Chapter 12

Sergeant Ford was driving the ambulance, trying to find anything that looked like a road. The windshield wipers were moving so fast, he thought they'd break off.

Colonel Potter and Sergeant Jackson, the other medic, were working on triage. Several men had broken bones. In great pain, not in life threatening danger. Three men were in critical condition. Needed surgery as soon as possible. Jackson and Potter, working together, were trying everything short of surgery to keep those men alive.

"Jackson, keep on eye on them for a minute," said Potter, "I want to speak to the driver." Potter then slowly and unsteadily moved to the front.

"Sergeant, have you ever driven in weather this bad?" asked Potter.

"Sir, growing up in Mississippi, I had to outrun a tornado in a tractor," Ford replied.

"Had those in Missouri, too," Potter began, "How did it turn out?"

"Well, I jumped off the tractor while it was moving and just managed to get to our cellar before the Tornado came through," Ford responded.

"Quick thinking, son," Potter continued, "what happened next?"

"Well, Colonel, we came out of the cellar. The tornado pulled up some crops and turned over a thresher. The tractor wound up in a big old oak tree," Ford smiled.

"Why the smile?" Potter queried.

"Sir, the way I figure it, if I hadn't gotten the tractor as far as I done, it might have slammed into the house, instead. When people came by, we showed them the oak tree and said we were trying a new way of planting," Ford was laughing now. Potter joined in.

"Do you know where we are, Ford?" Potter asked, turning serious.

"Colonel, my compass tells me we're going in the right direction. Some of the road is still here. But I think we've made maybe 7 or 8 miles in the last hour," Ford replied.

"Son, do you're your best to speed that up a bit, and keep us going," Potter commanded.

Potter walked back to Jackson, who was working on the most injured, Captain Spoonbaker.

Jackson turned to Potter, "Sir, Captain Spoonbaker saved these men. He saw that the bridge was falling and ordered them to get moving – just in time. He got three of his men out of the water himself before a piece of pavement hit him in the back."

"He's got more broken bones than I can count," Potter replied.

"From his breathing, I think he's got a pierced lung," Jackson said.

"Well, son, let's hope that's all that's pierced. We need to get him to the 4077th," Potter spoke more quietly.

"Colonel Potter," shouted Ford, "Please come up front.

"Coming, son," Potter replied as he ambled to the front.

"Sir, I think I see a jeep next to a hut, over there on the right," Ford said.

"Looks like one of our jeeps," Potter looked through the rain.

"Son," Potter said, "Let's move over there carefully. Might be wounded."

Ford turned the ambulance toward the hut. As they got closer, they saw the hood up.

"Could be someone stalled here, sir?" asked Ford.

"Hell of a place for that. Get close to the hut, park this, and see if anyone is inside. Take your weapon, Sergeant, just in case," Potter ordered.

"Sir," said Ford, "I swear I saw something move behind the door. Full of holes, so I can see right through."

"Jackson," Potter yelled, "We've likely got wounded in that hut, or what's left of it. Looks like they are ours, but can't be sure. I'm sending Ford to check it out. Stand by the front door with your weapon, in case he needs backup."

Jackson walked up by Ford to the front of the ambulance. Then, Ford opened the ambulance door and ran through pouring rain to the door. Next, he slowly pushed it open, shouting as he did so.

Ford went in for a very short time, and then ran back to the ambulance.

"Two of ours, Sir," he said to Potter, "No wounds, but soaked through and through. May be going into shock."

"Alright, then," Potter said, grabbing a bag, "Ford, come with me and let's get them on board. Jackson, be ready. We may have to work fast."

Sergeant Ford and Colonel Potter then ran to the hut and opened the door.


	13. Chapter 13

The ambulance was moving, again, in the downpour. Ford saw a stretch of road that seemed intact, and accelerated slightly.

They'd found a soaking Colonel Meyers and Corporal Zunich – the remaining part of the hut's roof had collapsed, trapping both men in the storm. Potter, Ford and Jackson were able to get both men out from the rubble and onto the bus.

Once both Meyers and Zunich were in dry clothes and in bunks, Potter and Jackson examined each man. Meyers appeared to have two broken legs, and Zunich a broken right arm and serious cuts across his chest.

"We'll bandage those wounds for now to slow down the bleeding," Colonel Potter told Jackson.

"Colonel, I can take care of that. Please see how Captain Spoonbaker is doing," Jackson asked.

"Will do, son," Potter replied, and walked over to Captain Spoonbaker. The Captain was hanging in there, not much worse than when they'd started the journey, but still dangerously weak. Colonel Potter hoped they could get to the 4077th in time, or he might have to do makeshift surgery on the ambulance.

"Where the hell am I?" Colonel Meyers shouted suddenly. Potter walked back to him.

"Colonel, Sherman Potter, here. You had a roof fall in on you. Looks like you broke both legs, and we'll need to see if there's anything else when we get to the XRay machine at the 4077th," Potter looked over Meyers.

"How did you get here?" Meyers asked.

Potter explained about the conference, and how it had been cut short due to the expected North Korean attack.

"So," Potter ended, "I hitched a ride on this ambulance to get home. Got two great medics with me, and 11 other wounded men to keep an eye on. Corporal Zunich has a broken right arm, and Sergeant Jackson is doing his best to patch up the chest wounds."

"Are you sure I've got two broken legs?" Meyers asked.

"Well, Colonel, you can always try and stand up – find out for yourself," Potter answered, "But, I've been in the practice of medicine nearly 30 years, now. I'm very certain your legs are broken."

Meyers closed his eyes for a couple of seconds, and then opened them, "Damn. Means I'm out of commission for awhile."

"Maybe up to six weeks before you get back to full duty," Potter replied evenly.

"How the hell do you know that?" Meyers shouted.

"Listen, Meyers. I'm a doctor, not a fortune teller. We'll know more when we get to the 4077th," Potter angrily replied, "Ford up there is trying to navigate this ambulance through streams, rivers and an occasional road. Your yelling isn't going to make his job easier, the ambulance go faster or make your legs heal any more quickly."

Meyers started to reply, but lapsed into silence.

"Ford, how far have we gone so far?" Potter asked.

"Colonel, my best guess is about 18 miles, sorry, Sir." Ford responded as he tried making out what looked like a road through the speeding windshield wipers.

"Son, you're doing your best. That's all that matters," Colonel Potter replied, "Lord, I wish this rain would let up."

"Amen to that, Sir," Ford responded.

Colonel Potter walked over to Captain Spoonbaker and examined him, quickly. They might make it to the 4077th, but not in time for this soldier. Potter knew he'd have to do some sort of surgery, soon – just to stop internal bleeding. Spoonbaker wouldn't make it without that.

He just had to see if they could round up enough on the ambulance to jury rig a surgical setup, and find some way to keep it sterile.

Potter walked to the back of the ambulance and motioned Jackson to join him. They had to plan fast and act even faster to save Spoonbaker.


	14. Chapter 14

Hawkeye paced in Margaret's office, "There must be something we can do."

"Hawk," BJ replied, "I don't think so."

Margaret got up from her desk and walked up to the two.

"I appreciate your support, but I'm not sure that we can do anything more until wounded get here, or the rain lets up," she said.

Klinger poked his head through the door, "Major. I've got ICOR on the phone." Margaret quickly walked to her desk and signaled her company clerk to put the call through.

"Major," came the voice on the other line, "General Rice, here. Potter get back, yet?"

"No, Sir," Margaret replied, "He's riding in an ambulance to help them with triage and to treat the wounded. With this weather, we don't know when he'll get here."

"Major Houlihan," General Rice started, "Colonel Potter spoke very highly of you while he was here. Said he was glad you were, in his words, "minding the store." He also mentioned that Colonel Meyers might cause trouble – has he?"

"General," Margaret began, "Colonel Meyers hasn't arrived, yet. We haven't been able to reach him on the radio, either."

"I'd recommend search parties, Major, except that in this weather, we'd soon be searching for them as well," General Rice said, "There is, however, some news I think you'll be pleased to hear."

Margaret nodded, "What news is that, Sir?"

"Intelligence has discovered that the North Koreans have abandoned their attack. Their troops have begun withdrawing to camp," the General added, "They aren't foolish enough to try a major advance in this storm."

"That's great news, sir," Margaret smiled, "We expected a huge number of casualties. Does that mean we are just fighting the results of this storm?"

"That's correct," began General Rice, "Still a lot of work to be done, though."

"Yes, Sir," Margaret smiled. This would be so much simpler than dealing with the wounded from a major battle.

General Rice provided one final item of information, and then the call ended. Margaret turned to Hawkeye and BJ.

"The North Koreans are as affected by this weather as we are. They will not be attacking, per General Rice. He also told me that if Colonel Meyers shows up and causes ANY problems, to have Colonel Meyers speak directly to him, "she said.

"That's the first good news we've had," BJ smiled.

"Too bad I can't put my plan for Meyers into action," Hawkeye frowned, "I'll just save the idea for the next gung-ho, thoughtless officer. Plenty of those around."

The rain continued to pour at the same rate.

"The storm should be moving out starting tomorrow," Margaret noted.

"I'm not sure I'll know what dry weather looks like," BJ noted.

"What's dry weather?" Hawkeye laughed.

"I think it's when you only get wet in the showers, not when you are walking around the camp," Margaret added.

Colonel Potter was still "out there." They had no way to reach their full time CO. A brief light moment ended quickly.

Klinger entered the room, "No word on the Colonel. He left Kimpo over two hours ago."

"And, he's got an ambulance full of wounded," Hawkeye added.

Margaret was worried about Colonel Potter. The weather and lack of communication made it impossible to know where he was, or how he was. Yes, the Colonel was sharp as a tack and could handle himself in just about any situation. But, there was no way to know how he was doing that. She couldn't let the staff get consumed with worry.

"Klinger, stay with the radio. We'll bring you back something from the mess tent," she began, "Captains, lets float over to the mess tent and get some food. There's nothing else we can do."

"Besides," she added, "we're running things right now. Staff needs to see us out and about."

"I never thought the mess tent would be good for morale," Hawkeye said.

"You never know," Margaret said, "They might just have some food that doesn't move on your plate."


	15. Chapter 15

"We could always hold a fishing tournament," Hawkeye said, "the smallest puddle around here is probably at least a lake. Maybe a Great Lake."

"I don't think there would be any fish," BJ replied.

"That's what makes it a challenge," Hawkeye smiled.

Margaret, Hawkeye, BJ and Father Mulcahy shared a table in an uncrowded Mess Tent. A few hardy souls had wandered in for a meal. Some ran in from the rain and covered their trays and ran back out again.

"I hope we get those trays back," Margaret said.

"The tray's the thing," BJ smiled.

"Shakespeare," Father Mulcahy beamed, "What a fine writer."

Hawkeye arose, "Indeed. One of the world's finest. My one attempt at acting was in high school, where we were doing, "Macbeth." However, I was more interested in Cathy Sherman than in learning my lines. By the time for final rehearsals, Mr. Bradley had given my role to Mike Presterman. I asked Mr. Bradley if there was anything I could do to help – even offered to play the skull. Mr. Bradley took me aside and said, "Hawkeye, you'll likely do better in the audience. You can watch Cathy Sherman from there." My one and only attempt at acting. Cathy Sherman, well, that's another story."

"I'm sure it is," Margaret replied, with a grin on her face.

Klinger, soaking wet, appeared in the mess tent and saw Major Houlihan. He walked over to her.

"Major…" he began.

"Klinger. Son, wouldn't you like to dry off?" Father Mulcahy asked.

Klinger hesitated for a second, "Yes, Father, I would, but I need to tell the Major that we have news on Colonel Potter! He's fine. Apparently, his ambulance found Colonel Meyers, who was injured. Meyers had a radio, and they finally got it to work. Meyers reported in; they relayed the message a couple of times, Sparky got it, and then let me know."

"Where are they Klinger?" Margaret asked.

"They left Kimpo about 3 and ½ hours ago. Message said they were likely about that time from here, due to the weather," Klinger replied.

"A 7 hour drive?" asked BJ.

"Captain, with the rain, that's probably making good time. A lot of the roads around are just dirt – probably nothing but mud, now," Klinger responded.

"Anything else, Corporal?" Margaret asked.

"Sorry Major. They lost touch again," Klinger said.

"They're carrying wounded. Tough ride for those men," BJ said.

"And we know where Colonel Meyers is!" said Hawkeye, "Though why I am excited about that I have no idea."

"Potter's there, Hawk," BJ began, "He can handle Meyers."

"That is all to the good," Margaret responded, "We know the Colonel is on his way and he's got Meyers with him."

Klinger was starting to shake, "Major, if it's alright, I'd like to run back to the CO's office. I think I may have a dry uniform somewhere."

Margaret looked at her Company Clerk. Poor man couldn't have been more wet if he'd been swimming, "Klinger, get into a dry uniform. And please stay in the office."

Klinger nodded and ran out the tent.

"I'm still worried, Beej. I'm glad Potter's ok, but that's a very hard trip back here," Hawkeye explained.

"At least they are on their way. Good something is moving in this storm," BJ replied.

"Well, Colonel Meyers wanted to see the CO…." Hawkeye began.

"BJ, Hawkeye, you get some rest in the Swamp. I'll be in my temporary office. Father, I'll make sure all of you get news if we hear something," Margaret said with authority.

"I'll be praying for a very specific safe arrival," Mulcahy said.

"I think we all will," BJ added.


	16. Chapter 16

Colonel Potter leaned against the back door of the ambulance, exhausted. He and Jackson had gathered what they could for surgery. Not much in the way of cotton or bandages. Some whiskey to sterilize the few surgical tools they had available. Several wounded had lighters they volunteered.

He and Jackson had set up what they could around Captain Spoonbaker. They went over what Potter would try to do. Then, Potter told Ford to stop the ambulance, which skidded to a halt.

Potter sterilized a knife with whiskey and began. Not long after, he turned to Jackson, "Son, he's bleeding from too many places. There's nothing I can do here."

Jackson replied, "If we can get him to your MASH unit…."

"Son, that wouldn't help," Potter interrupted, "The broken bones are one thing. But the bleeding won't stop. We'd need to suture dozens of wounds. And that's not possible given his condition. He's going to bleed out, internally, before we could get far enough to make any difference."

"Sir," Jackson replied, "I understand."

"We'll give him a sedative. He'll die less painfully," Potter began, "Won't be alive by the time we reach the 4077th. But, hopefully, he can die a little more peacefully. It's all we can do."

Meyers was very close to where Potter and Jackson were standing.

"Can't save him, Potter. You did what you could," Meyers said.

"Thank you, Colonel," Potter responded, "Ford, let's get this vehicle moving again."

Ford had been watching the surgical efforts. He got back into the driver's seat, started the ambulance, and slowly began moving forward.

"Colonel, based on some numbers I've been working with, I think we have a little over 3 hours to go," Meyers said.

"Longest damn ride of my life," Potter responded, "Ford, we have 11 men to keep alive, now. Drive steady and speed up where you can. I want these men to get the best care anywhere, at the 4077th.

"Yes sir," Ford said, looking into the same speeding windshield wipers that barely got enough rain out of the way before the windshield got covered again.

"Sir," asked a wounded soldier who was a couple of bunks away from Spoonbill, "I'm Sargeant Bladowicz. Captain Spoonbaler was a first class officer, and he saved our lives. I think it might be good for his widow to read how he did that."

"Sergeant," Colonel Potter replied, "I think that's a first class idea. I'd suggest you and your men think up how you might want the letter to look. When we get to the 4077th, I'll have you dictate it to my company clerk. He'll write it up, and then each of you can sign it."

"Thank you, sir. If it's typed, it looks like just another form. Your clerk write neatly?" Bladowicz asked.

"When he needs to," Potter replied, "He'll know how to handle this just right."

"Men," Bladowicz began, "If you are alive, it's because of the Captain. Think about how he saved your life. We'll write it up and mail it to his missus. We owe him that much."

The men from Spoonbaker's unit began talking among themselves.

"Potter," began Meyers, "That's a fine idea. A fine one, indeed. You see much of that on your end?"

"Colonel," Potter replied, "As much as it warms my heart, it breaks it more. Every time."

Potter turned to a window and looked out at the rain.


	17. Chapter 17

Spring in France in the Great War. After a week of rainy weather, the sun finally appeared. The mud that was everywhere would now have a chance to dry. Sherman Potter guided his horse to keep up with the others. His unit was on the move to provide support for an all out attack on German lines.

"Easy girl," he said.

The challenge was to make up for lost time and ride an additional 25 miles, today. Potter wasn't sure if the horses would be able to get that far, with mud all around. But, orders were orders.

"You hear what happened?" Private Muir was riding beside Potter. Muir was the unit's "Gossip Officer," as Sergeant Brady had called him. If it happened, or might have happened, Muir told anyone who would listen.

"No!" Potter was annoyed. Muir was a good enough soldier; however, like many of the men in his unit, Potter had tired of the "Gossip Officer's" stories, and wanted to concentrate on navigating muddy ground.

"Sherm," Muir continued, "You'll like this. Sergeant Brady said we were getting a new CO, some Captain Truman. You know him, don't you?"

Potter had briefly met Truman after an inspection. Just two Missouri boys chewing the fat. Seemed like a good man.

Potter replied, "I know him a little. How did you find this out?"

"Well," Muir began.

Shellfire broke out. Some Germans had used the rain to set up an ambush point and were hitting Calvary. Potter wheeled his horse, as Sergeant Brady ordered his men away from the shellfire. Horses moved more slowly on the muddied ground. Some slipped, throwing riders. As the firing intensified, Brady directed the men to a nearby cluster of trees near abandoned buildings.

Allied guns roared to life and started to hit the German position. Enemy fire was weakening.

Potter just made it to the cluster of trees – his horse had responded well.

As the Allied guns destroyed the German position, Potter looked through the smoke: seeing dead men on the ground. Wounded men crying for assistance. Some of them in German.

Muir was dead. His horse had slipped in the mud and thrown him in the process. A German shell had cut the man in half.

Potter watched as medical staff began to reach the wounded. Everyone was getting covered with mud in the process.

Now, Brady rode over to the survivors, anger clearly in his face.

"Damn it. This area was supposed to be clear. That's what they told me," Brady began, "I've got to go out and see who didn't make it. Need a couple of volunteers."

"I'll go, Sarge," Potter said. He never knew why he'd said that. It was as though his voice operated on its' own.

"I will, too," said Corporal Finkel.

Brady, Finkel and Potter rode out carefully to check.

As they approached dead comrades, Sherman Potter saw the ground. Blood and mud mixing together.

He'd survived his first battle.

But, he'd never forget the mud that came with it.


	18. Chapter 18

"Colonel Potter?" asked Jackson, "You alright?"

Potter turned from the window and was back in the present.

"Sorry, son. Got tied up in something from a lifetime ago. I'm fine," Colonel Potter replied.

Jackson nodded, "Colonel Meyers just got another message through on the radio."

Potter turned to Meyers.

"Colonel, just wanted your people to know we were still on the way. My folks will relay the message," Meyers noted.

"Thanks, Colonel," Potter replied, "Any news on this weather?"

Meyers nodded "no."

"Colonel Potter," Ford shouted from the driver's seat, "Could you come up here, Sir?"

"On my way," Potter replied and walked to the front, "What's going on, Sergeant?"

"Straight ahead. That village look familiar to you, Sir?" Ford pointed at a cluster of buildings perhaps 200 yards away.

Potter made out what he could through the rain.

"Well, I'll be a rusty horseshoe," Potter smiled, "That's 'Little Osan!"

"Little Osan, Sir?" asked Ford.

"That's not the town's official name," Potter replied, "We've had some South Korean soldiers from Osan come through. Turns out a fair number of them have relatives around here. A South Korean Captain told me that his soldiers call the place, "Little Osan" because of that.

"Does that mean we're close, Sir?" Ford replied.

"About 25 miles to go," Potter said, "not much further."

Colonel Potter put his right hand on Ford's right shoulder, "You're doing a great job, Ford. Just keep it up."

Meyers called Colonel Potter over, "Potter, these two medics have done a great job. You ever work with them, before?"

"No, Colonel," Potter answered, "Just met them when I got on the ambulance."

"Well," Meyers began, "I'm going to put both in for a commendation. Keeping the ambulance moving, Keeping men alive in this weather. Ford and Jackson, right?"

"Colonel," Potter replied, "That's very observant of you. And, very kind."

"Potter," Meyers continued, "I don't know if I've heard anyone called me "kind" before."

Potter smiled, "Well, Colonel, there's a first time for everything."


	19. Chapter 19

"I figure two hours tops," Klinger said, "I think they're near Little Osan."

Margaret Houlihan stopped signing the pile of forms on her desk, "Klinger, that is terrific!"

"Should I alert them in the Swamp, Ma'am?" he asked.

"No, Corporal," Margaret replied, "You've gotten wet enough today. And we'll need you when the ambulance gets here. Let's wait until it does – then we can get the doctors when we REALLY need them."

"Major, I see you've gotten today's forms signed," Klinger smiled, "Great job! I'll put them in the folder to send out tomorrow."

Margaret got out of her chair and walked to the window, watching the storm, "I'll start signing the other forms in a minute. Might be able to get them all done before the ambulance arrives."

"You got it Major," Klinger noted.

"How does Colonel Potter get all these forms done?" Margaret queried.

"Same way you do it, Major," Klinger smiled, "When he's got some time."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

In the Swamp, the doctors were finding ways to kill time.

"How many letters is that?" Hawkeye asked BJ.

"Four, so far, today." BJ replied.

"You mean enough happened today that you could write Peg four separate letters?" Hawkeye replied.

"There's also last night," BJ said.

"You keep this up, you may need your own postal service," Hawkeye smiled.

"Gotta write them to get them," BJ smiled back.

Charles put aside the "Boston Monthly" he was reading and sat up.

"I suppose I owe my sister a letter," he said.

"Which one?" Hawkeye retorted, "You have the whole alphabet at your disposal."

"Pierce, your humor is consistent. Consistently juvenile. I write my sister at least twice a week. Between her and my parents, I send out a letter almost every day," Winchester replied.

"Charles, I never said you didn't write home. You probably make good bed time reading. Puts your family to sleep," Hawkeye joked.

"Beats warm milk," BJ added.

"Gentlemen. We all write to stay connected with those we love and miss back home. Once I'm home, I'll never need to write you – as I neither love you nor will miss you," Winchester smiled.

BJ got up from his bunk and looked out. The rain was still falling steadily.

"I am fed up with this weather. Every time I look out, everything is the same. Wet," BJ said.

"At least it stopped a battle," Hawkeye replied.

"But, not the war," BJ looked at Hawkeye.

"Pierce, Hunnicut," Charles began, "We've had this war in summer, spring, winter, fall. Hot and Cold. Dry and Wet. Weather may torment us, but it won't put a halt to this madness."

"He's right, Hawk," BJ added.

"I hate when that happens," Hawkeye spat back.


	20. Chapter 20

Colonel Potter and Sergeant Jackson checked all 11 patients. Potter made a mental note of who had to be seen first at the 4077th, now that they were close. Wouldn't need to do triage once they got there, and that would help these boys get care a bit faster. Especially after the long ambulance ride.

Potter walked to the front. Ford was steadily driving, though the rain was still pounding the windshield.

"Worst driving conditions you been in, Son?" Potter asked.

"Other than the tornado…yes," Ford replied.

"You drive like you have more experience in bad weather. Sergeant, I detected an accent, before. Alabama?" Potter queried.

"How'd you know, sir?" Ford asked.

"I've served with a lot of southern boys. After awhile, you start recognizing where they are from," Colonel Potter explained, "My brother in law runs a fishing business out of Mobile. Mighty fine fishing, there."

"Sir, I'm from Silas. Would go with my brothers to Mobile," Ford smiled.

Suddenly, the ambulance was shuddering. Ford slowed the vehicle to a stop. Ford turned off the engine and went out into the rain.

"Right rear tire is flat, Colonel," Ford said as he came back in, "No spare, either."

"Ford, you, me, Jackson and Colonel Meyers need to get together and figure something out," let's go to the back," Colonel Potter commanded.

"Can the 4077th help out?" Colonel Meyers asked.

"It would be difficult from here. Get 6 jeeps out here to take the wounded and us. These boys will have no protection from the rain – could get exposure," Potter replied.

"Sir," asked Jackson, "What if we head for the mud?"

"Son, can you clarify what you have in mind," Potter stared at Jackson.

"Colonel," Jackson continued, "What if we keep going, but drive in the mud as much as possible, instead of avoiding it?"

"Because in the mud, that flat tire won't have the same impact," added Ford, "Won't feel it as much."

"Can we get to the 4077th that way?" asked Meyers.

"Damned if I know. We'll be going slower, for sure. But, anything that can get us even close to the 4077th could make the difference for these wounded. If we have to use the jeeps then, we might not have to go so far – not expose these men so much," Potter mused, "So, we've got to try. Colonel Meyers, please use that radio to let them know about our predicament. Ford, don't get us in deep, but keep that right side in the mud as best you can."

Ford went to the front and restarted the engine. He turned the ambulance off the road, about halfway. The right side was tracking mud, and the left side remained on what was left of the road.

The ambulance was steadier, but Ford had to drive much slower.

"Colonel," said Meyers, "What if the 4077th sends just a couple of jeeps for the ones who need more immediate attention? Could they find a way to keep the soldiers dry?"

"That's a good idea, Meyers. Just might work. Try to have us patched over to the 4077th. Maybe we can beat this storm, yet." Potter said.


	21. Chapter 21

Klinger was half asleep when the radio woke him. It wasn't easy to understand the person speaking, but it sounded like Colonel Potter.

"Major," he yelled, "I think we've got Colonel Potter on the line."

Margaret picked up the phone, "Colonel Potter?" "Sir, I can barely hear you." "Just north of little Osan." "Flat tire." "Did you say 2 jeeps?" "For wounded?" "Sir….Colonel….Colonel Potter?" but the line went dead.

"Klinger," Margaret yelled, "Get in here. Colonel Potter's ambulance is just north of little Osan. I think they are still moving, but they have a flat tire."

"Major," Klinger asked, "What do we need?"

"We need two jeeps to get wounded here as soon as possible. I'll get Able and Baker in here," she began, "Klinger, who are the best drivers around here?"

"Ma'am," Klinger responded, "Corporal Phillips raced stock cars. Private Wright owns a gas station."

"That should work. Klinger, go get them and tell them to put on EVERYTHING they can to try and stay dry," Margaret said.

"How do we keep the wounded dry?" Klinger asked.

"Tear down the VIP tent. Cut it in half," Margaret responded, "That should help. We just don't have any extra gear for rain protection."

Klinger started to leave the office, when Margaret said, "Klinger get 2 or 3 people to help you tear down the VIP tent. Bring it into Post Op and we'll cut it up, there."

"Yes, Major," Klinger ran out of the office.

Klinger found Phillips and Wright in the mess tent and gave them Margaret's orders. They left. Klinger ran over to supply where Zale, Rizzo and Fulmer were playing poker.

"Card game's on hold, gents," Klinger began, "Major Houlihan wants us to take down the VIP tent and bring it into post op."

"Why?" asked Rizzo.

"Colonel Potter's ambulance has a flat. We're gonna have 2 jeeps sent out to pick up the most seriously wounded and bring them back here. The VIP tent will be cut in half, so each jeep has something to keep the soldiers dry." Klinger voice rose, "Let's go!"

Rizzo, Zale, Fulmer and Klinger raced to the VIP tent.

"I've always wanted to do this," Klinger yelled over the rain, "Just wish a VIP was in it!"

"We expecting a VIP?" asked Fulmer.

"Not in this weather. What warm and safe self-important officer type would want to visit us, now?" Klinger yelled.

Margaret had brought Nurses Able and Baker to her office, and explained what was happening.

Phillips and Wright put on anything that could protect them from the rain, and then got two jeeps from the motor pool. They came into Margaret's office.

Klinger ran in from post op, "Major, would you like the honor of cutting the VIP tent in half?"

She thought about it for about two seconds, and then told Klinger he should take care of it.

From Klinger's grin, Margaret felt she'd made a good call.


	22. Chapter 22

The two jeeps from the 4077th got to the ambulance in 20 minutes.

"Get them covered, fast," Colonel Potter yelled as the 2 jeeps from the 4077th had picked up 4 wounded from the ambulance. Wright and Phillips quickly pulled their parts of the VIP tent to cover the soldiers. Each driver had brought a couple of bricks, using them to raise the covering – just enough to provide for some air for the soldiers while keeping them as dry as possible.

The wounded covered, both jeeps turned on the muddy road back to the 4077th.

"Ford," Colonel Potter began, "Do your best to follow them along the mud. Least we can do is shorten the distance they travel next time."

Ford started up the ambulance and gently accelerated. As the ambulance moved at 10 miles per hour, he could still feel some shaking from the flat tire side.

Potter walked back to Colonel Meyers and Jackson, "I told the drivers to come right back. We can get four more wounded to the 4077th. If we can keep going at this speed, we might just make it by the time the jeeps finish their second run."

"Or, we'll be pretty damn close," Colonel Meyers replied.

"Let's hope so," Potter began, "The rain hasn't let up at all. I'll be glad when we've got all the wounded taken care of."

Bladowicz sat up, "Colonel, I think we've got a good start on that letter to Captain Spoonbill's missus. Would you take a look?"

Potter walked over and took the paper from Bladowicz. The Colonel leaned against a now empty bunk and read,

"Dear Mrs. Spoonbill,

Your husband was our commanding officer. Captain "S," (our nickname for him) was well respected and well liked. He led by example – never putting his men at a risk he wouldn't take himself. Several months ago, we were on patrol. A sniper hit Private Benton. Captain S ordered us to get down and ran to Benton, who was still breathing. When the sniper fired again, Captain S used his own body to protect Benton from the shots. Captain S took one in the shoulder – and Benton lived.

Yesterday. Captain S was leading us on a patrol during a heavy rainstorm. We could barely see each other, let alone what was around. About an hour in, he led us carefully across a bridge that was barely above rising waters. The bridge collapsed and we fell into the water.

Some of us made it to the riverbank. Three men were being carried away in the water, and Captain S swam to save them. He got to Private McLanahan, first, and got him onto a rock. Private Logan and Private Blanco were closer to the bridge, but were drowning. Captain S grabbed each man and kept them floating. A couple of us swam over and dragged Logan and Blanco toward the riverside.

Captain S was swimming back to us when a concrete slab fell off the bridge and hit him in the back.

We were able to get him out of the river, but we could see he was wounded badly.

We know Captain S. was thinking of you; he often spoke about "Beautiful Maryanne" and your daughters Emma and Grace. He carried a picture of you three with him at all times.

Captain S was more than our commanding officer; he was our friend. We all felt very lucky to be led by a man who made sure his men came first.

All of us will miss him, and that loopy grin he got every time he got a letter from you.

Nothing we'd write or say could bring him back. We hope, though, that you find this letter a comfort in difficult times.

Sincerely,

The soldiers in K Patrol."

After reading the letter, Potter had tears in his eyes, "This will do fine, Sergeant. This will do fine."


	23. Chapter 23

The OR was swamped, once all the wounded arrived from the ambulance. With Colonel Potter back, all four surgeons were busy.

"Litter," Hawkeye yelled, "Next." Sergeant Bladowicz was wheeled over to him.

"Hey, doc," Bladowicz began.

"Sergeant, you have nothing to worry about. We'll have the alignment, tire rotation and oil change done in no time," Hawkeye told him. Then, he nodded to Nurse Baker to start the anesthetic.

Colonel Potter, meanwhile, was examining Colonel Meyers. They'd x rayed him about 15 minutes earlier.

"Well, Colonel," Potter began, "You indeed have two broken legs. Good news is that each is a 'clean break,' so it will speed up healing. Better news is that you have no other injuries."

"They'll send me to Tokyo, won't they?" Meyers asked.

"You're out of commission for five or six weeks. Imagine so," Potter replied.

"I've looked at some of the wounded who you had in the ambulance. Some of them have it much worse," Meyers added.

"Some of them, 2 or 3, will be going home. We fix people as best we can, but some wounds are just too deep," Potter noted, "Colonel, we don't keep people here longer than necessary. But, we're not the post office, either. We keep wounded here as long as it is medically necessary."

"Colonel, I believe I understand you quite well," Meyers spoke in a hoarse voice, "Took me getting injured to make sense of it."

Sherman Potter hated the place and the war. But, after the long ride he'd been on, he was almost glad to have the familiar sights and sounds of the OR. They could help the wounded who'd had such a hard ride. That was something.

He was back in command.

Margaret Houlihan had done a tremendous job in his absence. That VIP tent business was brilliant. And he'd make sure to tell her that. She'd kept the respect of the unit, and showed she cared about people.

"Damn fine, job. Maybe I should retire," he thought.

But, there would be more wounded as long as the damn war went on. He was needed here.

At least he'd found someone he could leave in charge, temporarily, without threats of mutiny or turning the job into royalty. Margaret was worth a whole lot more than she realized. He'd make sure General Rice knew that.

It had only taken 3 officers to find someone.

"Guess the 3rd time IS the charm," Potter said to himself.


End file.
